Me, age 3, actually fishing... sort of.

The fish are biting and I’m reeling ‘em in, I’m just not posting ‘em. Posting requires so much clean up to make ‘em fit for reading.

Finishing the last chapter of the Tao Te Ching was the catalyst I guess I needed to reevaluate things. I’ve wondered for a while now why I post in the first place.

I mean, the Taoist point of view has to be among the oddest and most ironic subjects to speak on. After all, he who knows does not speak, he who speaks does not know.

So I have to ask myself, if I don’t know, why reveal my ignorance? On the other hand, if I do know, why am I speaking? To be fair, that pithy “He who knows…” statement is not the whole story. On the positive side, trying to write coherently is a fascinating challenge for me, and my observations do appear to benefit a few people. Simply put, I am composing and performing ‘music’, as seen from a mysterious sameness point of view anyway. Now certainly, my ’songs’ are music to nearly no ones ears, but that is just as it should be. Meaning, a Taoist ’song’ seeks to poke through the bio-hoodwink and sing it as ‘it’ is, not as we want ‘it’ to be. Popularity would just be symptomatic of singing it off-key, Taoist-wise.

Tao Te Ching, Word for Word

I just ordered a handful of my just completed translation (see below). We’ll use it here at our monthly meeting along side D.C. Lau’s translation. I think having the nearly literal version to refer to along side D.C. Lau’s version will be helpful. I notice that all translations bear an inherent problem due to relative word meaning. Meaning, when translating the Chinese to English, one must choose one word among several related meanings. Each of these can mean something different in the mind of the beholder – translator and reader alike. On top of this tenuous situation, rest an even fuzzier one for pseudo translations (like Steven Mitchel’s for example), which are actually interpretations of authentic translations. The benefit of correlations is that the process bears none of these problems. The whole responsibility of discerning meaning lies with the bewildered mind of ‘correlator’. Maybe that accounts for its great ‘popularity’.

Next step

I will continue to reevaluate my translation over time to make it more readable when possible, yet with any luck, also more accurate. Still, that may just amount to moving the furniture around the room. Now, with that disclaimer, anyone wishing a copy can buy direct from the printer Lulu. Lulu doesn’t ship abroad, so if anyone outside the USA wants a copy we can work something out. I’d really appreciate any comments, questions and criticisms with an eye to making it better. Great perfection here we come.

Is redundancy the name of the game?

I feel like I’ve said it all before, ad nausium. Still, a constant echo seems to be useful to counteract the bio-hoodwink. Reviewing the view I see in my most balanced moments helps anchor me in my less balanced ones. From what I can tell, that is a common human practice. Forgetting what we truly want of life is all-too-easy!

Adventures of aging

I never remember any old people telling me how fascinating aging was or would be, although if they had, it probably wouldn’t have registered, i.e. one can only understand what one already knows. I seem to be having increasing difficulty remembering things. My mind is becoming blanker. That has some interesting effects; insight seems to flow like water through the void my mind is becoming. This ties into the sleep on it and blind spot issue John Clease spoke about.

On the other hand, I could just be seeing myself more as I actually am rather than the ‘genius’ I once liked to think I was. Yes, that old ‘Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty‘ issue. That offers a twist on the idea of a ’self fulfilling prophecy’. What you think is so prevents you from seeing what is actually so, which make it more like a ’self fulfilling prophecy bubble‘.

Another possibility is that I could be experiencing the beginnings of Alzheimer’s and the hole it produces in memory lead to my final days of insight before the mind’s curtain falls. Speculating is such fun, especially given how life usually turns out differently from anything we think. It is an adventure, that’s for sure!

A recent chapter of the week opened up a curious dilemma. According to that chapter, when the way prevails in the empire, fleet-footed horses are relegated to ploughing the fields; when the way does not prevail in the empire, war-horses breed on the border. But, on the other side we have: The way is broad, reaching left as well as right, and of course, The way that can be spoken of is not the constant way. Here is one way to reconcile these seemingly conflicting views.

It is not the way that is not prevailing, rather, it is my perception of the way that is not prevailing. My perceptions are a reflection of my needs and fears, and so don’t meet the Taoist standard of impartiality. We are counseled to exhibit the unadorned and embrace the uncarved block, have little thought of self and as few desires as possible. So, how did this view that peace is literally more Taoist than war find its way into the Tao Te Ching? Who knows, but there are a few other places that reflect this more modern humanist view. In a Taoist world view, war and peace, like everything else, don’t exist in pristine independence. To paraphrase: War and peace, produce, complement, off-set, harmonize and follow each other.

Likewise there is a core connection between ‘wanting to gain’ (i.e., desire, lust, greed) and being content. It is odd how desire is always made the scapegoat for many of the problems we see (e.g., the desire for money is the root of all evil). Odd because it is actually the lack of contentment than sparks the flames of desire. When enough is enough, there can be no desire for more. It is much more helpful to see the desire for something – anything! – as merely a symptom of a lack of contentment. This is how nature works. Feeling hunger and thirst arises from a perceived lack of food and water. In humans these are also transferred symptoms of other forms of discontent. A desire (hunger and thirst) to travel is a symptom of not feeling content where you are, whether it is travel to the toilet to pee, or travel to an exotic place to play. Chapter 80 sums this up well:

Bring it about that the people will return to the use of the knotted rope,
Will find relish in their food, And beauty in their clothes,
Will be content in their abode, And happy in the way they live.

Although, how one is supposed to ‘bring that about‘ is beyond me. Is this another idealistic humanist angle on life? Feeling content is perhaps one of the most personally mysterious ‘things’ to do. You can’t just ‘do it’, because doing it comes from a lack of feeling a lack of contentment with the status quo. As the Christians might say, contentment comes “by the grace of God”. On the other hand, they say God helps those who help themselves. Can we buck the paradox and take any measures to feel more content with our lives?

Personally speaking, seeing in the broadest view possible helps. This means reflecting on what I have whenever feelings of what I lack arise. Of course, this is trying to un-fire the cannon; contentment has already begun to wane. But, taking inventory of my blessings gives another focal point for my mind. The difficulty here is having enough presence of mind to remember to count my blessings. Desire (from hunger and thirst on up) has a way of blinding presence of mind.

In the end, just knowing that the problem is constant, and solutions come and go helps. Although, you’d think it would be discouraging. Actually, fully accepting the dynamics of how life plays out fosters contentment. Buddha sure had his priorities right when he lay out his enlightenment program:

Kamakura Buddha, 1880's

The First Noble Truth is the existence of suffering. Birth is suffering; growth, decay, and death are suffering. Sad it is to be joined with that which we dislike. Sadder still is the separation from that which we love, and painful is the craving for that which cannot be obtained. If you really accept that, the rest takes care of itself!

Tao: road, way, path, principle, speak, think, suppose.

I know, I know, the Tao that can be spoken of is not the constant Tao.  The Chinese literally translates to ‘way can speak, not constant way’ (道可道, 非常道).  Thus, anything I say beyond that is not the constant, but rather tentative. Even saying that is not the constant. Our mind is capable of perceptions more profound than our thoughts or speech can articulate. So our thoughts and speech always end up beating around the bush.  (Although, beating around the bush does flush revelation out of the bush at times.)

The Tao Te Ching does says this much: the tao models itself on that which is naturally so (道法自然). I see nature as the ‘big picture’ word for “that which is naturally so”. Likewise, I see balance as a ‘big picture’ word for nature. From atoms to galaxies, natural processes seek balance. This seems integral to nature’s scheme. When balance is lost, ‘things happen’ until balance reestablishes and stillness returns. Certainly life’s biological processes all seek balance – homeostasis, i.e., (a state of equilibrium or a tendency to reach equilibrium, either metabolically within a cell or organism or socially and psychologically within an individual or group).

Clearly then, ‘the tao’ and balance are closely related.  ‘The tao’ models itself on that which is naturally so; balance is the fulcrum upon which nature’s naturally so plays itself out. Consequently, knowing the nature of balance should give insight into the nature of ‘the tao’.  Now the question is, how do we know balance when we see it? How do we know the ‘balance’ we see is truly balanced?  Certainly, it is easy to see physical balance, e.g., standing on one leg and such. However, balance is profoundly more subtle when considering the ‘big picture’ meta-whole, as I will attempt to demonstrate at the end.

Efficiency is another ‘big picture’ word for nature. As I see it, nature is nothing if not efficient as she flow through time. But, like balance, efficiency in the ‘big picture’ is subtle as well.  What often seems efficient to us in the short term (narrow view) is extremely inefficient is the long run. We excel at ‘false efficiency’ with a tendency to willfully innovate while ignorant of the constant (不知常, 妄作凶). For example, housing projects, unbridled technologies, processed foods, mono crop farming, fishing the seas, etc., are pseudo efficient solutions that entail  unintended unbalancing consequences. Without a doubt, efficiency without balance is in-efficient and ill-fated. Nature will ceaselessly struggle to rebalance circumstances until false efficiency is replaced with balanced efficiency.

Is living an efficient and balanced life possible?

So far, I have only found this possibility existing ‘here and now’. Careful attentiveness, moment to moment, is the only way I know to notice when my life starts becoming inefficient and unbalanced. The only time I lose that moment to moment watchfulness is when my mind’s eye jumps ahead and out of the moment to an imagined need (desire) or an imagined fear (worry). Of course, need and fear do boost efficiency and balance, but only as long as I know when it is time to stop (知止).

The difficulty encountered when entering ‘the moment’ are two fold:  ’focus’ and ‘big space’. Stimuli in the environment awakens attentiveness when it rises above the threshold of awareness. The difficulty here is that focus easily becomes blindingly narrow. On the other hand, when stimuli is absent, attentiveness wanes and wanders off into space.

Too much focus and too much space, are both problematic. Of the two, too much space is probably the greatest innate weakness. Wandering attention enables a predator to take its prey, and thin the heard. Constant awareness, on balance, favors life survival. ‘You snooze, you loose’ as they say. Notice, for example, how birds are always on the lookout for predators.

Essentially, it takes courage (of sorts) to stay awake rather than let the mind wander off. Personally, the idea of fearless in being timid (勇於不敢) speaks to this. When I am ‘fearless in being timid’, I can wait and watch the ‘big space’,  the shape that has no shape, the image that is without substance (無狀之狀, 無物之象).  The obvious spiritual ideal comes to mind: Stay awake in the moment even without external stimuli. As nice as that ideal sounds, can we really do it?  Sure, to some extent. As chapter 71 puts it,  it is by being alive to difficulty that one can avoid it. In other words, maintain an ongoing sense of apprehension as if fording a river in winter. If I remain awake to the difficulty of remaining awake, I avoid that difficulty at least somewhat.

Jumping into the deep end

All things (万物) travel a path whose ‘end’ point is perfect balance (Great perfection). Traveling this path, all things ebb and flow, veer left and right, rise and fall, live and die, strengthen and weaken, struggle and surrender, etc., as they continue on the way.

This ‘end’ is not a thing, or a place, or a time, or even an end per se. The ‘end’ I refer to is nothing, and thus no thing will ever arrive ‘there’. In other words, nothing can ever arrive because all things are at the beginning of each moment. Yet, the beginning of each moment is the ‘end’ of each moment – nothing produces something and visa versa. You could say this end is this beginning is this end… and so on.  I know this is starting to sound like nonsense, but that’s a good thing in this case.

Now consider the words needed to say this nonsense. Begin and end, live and die, struggle and surrender, awake and snooze… each are poles apart (yin and yang) and not the balanced ‘golden middle’. The ‘end’ is balance. The way to that ‘end’ is via extremes – poles of yin and yang – and the journey is endless because we are already there. Huh? Balance is unbalanced if it lacks a degree of unbalance. In other words, balance and unbalance are also extremes – poles of yin and yang – and so require each other. Thus, to paraphrase the great Taoist disclaimer, “the balance that can be named is not the constant balance“.

When there is a lot of ‘rebalancing’ going on in our lives, life feels unbalanced and kind of nasty, depressed or stressed. However, in the ‘big picture’ all is well and proceeding as nature intends; it just doesn’t feel that way. Our feelings are part of the dynamic; they create the ebb and flow, the balance and unbalance which is integral to nature. Our lives are  ‘naturally so’, even when they feel like crap. So, just put a smile on your face, a song on your lips and be happy… to be sad (or visa versa of course).

Here are a few correlations to tie up loose ends and no doubt create new ones. Note how end is in both categories depending on what antonym it is paired with.