I can't say who told me, but I heard a rumor that Luke has a girlfriend...!

~Trinity

I heard that Luke brainwashed his girlfriend into throwing away all of her Steve Madden's and Manolo Blahnik's and walking around barefoot in subzero blizzards...under Papa's orders. He also brainwashed her into a pawn that repeats his every thought, with the only exception of starting rumors about him on message boards.

I also heard that he and Papa use the lair to conduct underground research on Industrial Melanism; with the exception of all the wild parties they have to celebrate when Kyle's not around. They eat kumquats and rock hard waffles drenched in fake Canadian maple syrup (but not toast, you heard wrong). They also use the lair to work on their private F22, christened "Becky", in which Luke plans to take his brainwashed girlfriend to Iqaluit, Nunavut so that she can be the first test subject for their personally engineered neoteric strain of the Ebola virus which will liquefy her inner organs at an alarming rate to produce an organic ingredient vital to their new line of enhanced wheatgrass beverages. Luke mistakenly brainwashed his girlfriend into Zoroastrianism instead of Taoism so now she worships Ahura Mazda. Only a minor setback.

But that's just what I heard. You'd have to ask someone from FOX to know for sure.

P.S. I also heard Kyle sleeps in Bugs Bunny jammies.

~Trinity

I heard the Abbotts were related to Oliver Cromwell, the protestant dictator who took over England in the 1600's, calling himself the "Lord Protector" of England. He was born into a family which was for a time one of the wealthiest and most influential in the area.

Elton John told me that.

~Trinity

Oh Luke... ops:

Female accoutrements? I don't wear stockings!

And if I did, I certainly wouldn't hang them all over Luke's bathroom! Wouldn't it be unladylike to scatter female accoutrements in foreign bathrooms? Luke might be quite distraught to find perfume, lip gloss and powder puffs amongst all of his... manly things (?).

Though the bathroom might smell nicer as a result, as it would be normally inhabited by typically aromatic males. (Mama being the obvious exception, but from what I've gathered, there are times when it sure would take alot to counteract Luke :wink.

~Trinity

First of all- Sorry, Kyle, but my name isn't "woman". You can call me Trinity.

Secondly, I don't really know how to respond to your rather random, irrelevant and somehwhat incomprehensible question- I had a difficult time figuring out what exactly sparked your little retort. At this point I feel I should inform you that not -everyone- guzzles pickle juice, Kyle.

Now, don't think I'm taken aback at your opaque comment. I understand you're a little younger than Luke and think quite differently. No need for an apology.

~Trinity

First off, my comment regarding your age was not an attempt to pin you as less wise but simply to make an observation that you seem less mature. Obviously, the correlation between age and emotional/social maturity isn't r=1 and there are plenty of exceptions, but frankly, I'm not entirely convinced you fall into that category. Even so, that's new information. The only elaboration I offered was that as a result of your age difference (among other factors) you think quite differently than Luke does, which you've already conceded. But that's beside the point.

For future reference, regardless of whether you were saying it to achieve a certain "effect" or not, most females don't really take to being called "woman", and I'm no exception. Whatever your reason for having said it, I obviously found it reprehensible regardless. You're not exempt from general expectations of common courtesy because you're Kyle and you like to be funny. Hopefully, you'll take me seriously in the future. Despite my convition that it's a matter of common sense, you may not have known that I would find it offensive, so I couldn't legitimately hold you accountable for it. But now you know.

I do care for you, Kyle, and I'm amused enough most of the time. But I can't humor you on this one. It's obviously not that big of a deal, but I'd hate for you to get the impression that you can talk to me however you like.

I don't have to tell you that you don't have to agree with everything your brother does, says and thinks, you know that. But if you disapprove of his being "chained down with the shackles of romantic emotion" and its effect on his ability to reason as you seem to imply that you do, that's between the two of you. Don't let it influence how you treat me.

I don't want this to turn into a big conflict. I like you. If you're that extremely opposed to anything I've said beyond a reasonable defensive reaction; then boy, did I choose the right brother.

Kidding. Peace.

~Trinity

I'm not upset, Qing-shan. Take is as no more than a simple "watch yourself".

~Trin

geez, and people wonder why guys like Kyle & I are single...chicks are so cute when they get mad (heehee, just taking some heat off ya, bro)

it's a mystery to me why babes like trinity dont want to hook up with me...I treat women with respect, long as they're quick about getting me my beers and have dinner ready on time...
Have I mentioned the ironic fact that the National Organization of Women (NOW) was founded on the day I was born? Talk about balance in the universe!

but seriously, have you got a car yet?