I just ran across your website today after becoming curious about the Trading Spouses programs and wondering if other peoples' perceptions on it were the same as mine... and here I am.
I would just like to say to the Abbott family that regardless of how the program was edited I thought your family was wonderful and charming, and could be a good example to families everywhere. Your genuine warmth, love and respect for each other and those you came into contact with appearantly couldn't be edited.
So thanks for sharing your lives with the rest of us.
Love,
Wendy

I agree with everyone who says that the editing distorts the "reality". It's a tv show and the purpose is entertainment. There wouldn't be any entertainment value without some controversy. But, I still don't think that you can blame the editing entirely. Even if you disagree with the Abbott's lifestyle/philosophy, you can't deny that their household is filled with love. They seem to enjoy being with each other. The Vegan Mom's family seemed to be afraid of her, and with good reason. Even with the extensive editing, Carl and his family still came off as good people. Even if Barbara is only one tenth of the shrew that she was portrayed as, she's still evil in my opinion.

I completely agree. Barbra proved herself (and she did this in her own WORDS not by EDITING) to be a clinically sadistic and narcisistic person. And by the way I have experience in editing documentaries and you can play with the images as much as you want, but you can't create a reality that is nonexistant. Maybe the editors cut out some moments where Barbra was "kind" but I don't think any of her wonderfully intelligent and compassionate ways would ever make up for the horrid, cruel comments she ALSO said. She calls herself open minded and intelligent but honestly I think she?s insecure about her coveted ?individuality.? By the way, didn?t any ANIMAL LOVER ever EXPLAIN TO HER that you DON?T TEACH DOGS TO NOT DO SOMETHING BY SHOVING THEIR NOSE INTO THE PROBLEM? You have to catch the dog in the act and then say ?NO.? Otherwise they don?t make the connection between something on the floor and their own bad action. You never NEVER treat a dog the way she did. Vegan or No. But of course, she thinks she knows all about parenting (berating a child because they ?love discipline?) and about training animals without cruelty, doesn?t she? Barbera, I hope you can forgive yourself for your selfish, cruel and hypocritical nature.

namaste.

I am not writing this to be hurtful to you, but what i watched wasn't just an editing thing. It was a side of you Barbara that is real, and you know it. the truth hurts.(you are very good at dishing it out to others, i hope you will listen and learn). I watched a very controlling, rude, individual named barbara, tell a very kind family named the loupe's how they should live their life. Barbara, the words that came out of your mouth, are more disgusting then anything a human could digest. Your actions were unkind, thoughtless and all about you.
i hope and pray you will learn something about yourself by watching yourself on this show. You have just let millions of people see a side of you that is sooooooo ugly and sad. You have no idea how the world lives. I am amazed and shocked how little you knew of another state. sad. California is not the only place in this big world of ours. There is a whole other part,, with people of all walks, culture, eating habits, languages. You would probably be shocked to know these people actually live in your state too, even close by you. i wonder if you could treat them with a little respect and kindness.
Focus on the hurtful words you say, the tone of your voice, the judgement you show to others. it's very unkind and rude.
And the way you treated the dog was also unkind. hope you learn from diane and dieago, and ZZ. i thought they were so kind, sweet, patient, loving, and non-judgemental. They, were an example of kindness.[/quote]

this is not acceptable, to say you hate someone you don't even know. You then need to look at yourself and change. i don't agree with how barbara treated the loupe family, she was thoughtless and unkind, but there is no need to hate her. Hate the actions, not the person, or you then are just as unkind, and casting like she did the first stone. She will hopefully realize and learn from these posts and all the people who were bothered by her behaviour.
BUt you are not the one to judge her by hated. That is even worse and more evil.

I saw a rerun of the show tonight. I just wanted to say that I was sickened by the way Barbara reacted...to pretty much everything. That cruel, know-it-all attitude and screaming at the children (the little girl in particular) made my blood boil. The fact that no one was to cry when reading that letter...and who was the only person to cry? Some how those precious little kids love that woman...but they probably fear her a bit more than they love her. I would. I know about television editing...it does not change the fact that those things happened, in whatever order.

I have only one question and I want an answer so badly. So much in fact..that I'll give you my yahoo account name: spfan1999

Tell me...Did any of that 50k the Gates family recieved go toward a vegan organization, an ecological cause....anything charitable?

And just one more thing...how can you call the show "Trashing Spouses" when that awful, wicked show handed you money just for going to a different place for a couple of weeks. YOU ruined your reputation, not the television show. If you didn't yell at those kids, treat people like they're your lesser, and completely destroy your credibility...you might have some nice things to say about the show.

your own pets- i believe the show mentioned that you had cats (yes?). are you imposing this 'vegan-lifestyle' on them?

many people are unaware that these animals are dependent upon essential amino acids that must be acquired through diet- taurine, arachidonic acid, vitamin A, vitamin b12, Niacin and thiamin- (only a few) of important dietary needs that a cat must have to have a healthy life.

-if you are really concerned for animal rights, you need to have a good understanding of what is really needed for them to be healthy-

--while you are able to make these choices, you need to understand that there are many who arnt able to-- respecting one's choices should be valued- not looked down upon

I am a vegan who runs a busy (non-dog beating) independent animal rescue in Canada.
I do not push my views on others who choose to eat factory farmed meat. It is THEIR choice, not mine and I allow them to make their own choices. When I go visit my friends on the Quadra Indian reserve, I certainly do not critisize them for eating deer and moose, nor do I try to push my tempeh on them.
The Loupe family (a charming, lovely family) know more about animals then you know about anything. You are a total poseur and I am embarrassed for you and for whom you so poorly represented.
Eating habits aside, I would certainly never BEAT A DOG for ANY reason, terrorize my children or try to pass myself off as a gentle person who causes no harm when I am actually a passive-aggressive, manipulative control freak with severe emotional problems.
Dietary issues aside, Babs, GET SOME HELP.
We are not defined by what we put into our mouths (be it alligator or cigarettes) and you need to take a good long look at yourself.
Did you know alligators are caring and attentive mothers to their young?
Put that in your mouth and chew it. I guess a spider and an alligator have no right to live, but a pig and a cow do? Pick a path, hypocrite.
I guess they must have "edited" in your venemous stares and dog-beating ways and "doctored" every stupid thing that cam out of your perpetually flapping mouth. ZZ was right. "shame shame shame!"
You really are pathetic!!

Did editing casue you to smoke and drink? Did editing casue you to call ZZ chubby when your fat yourself? Did editing cause you to make fun of there outfits,cars and gold? Did editing casue you to say that Clifornia is ahead of Louisiana? Did editing casue you to act like a 2 yr old when you thought you wouldnt get any $$$$$ for you? Did editing casue you to strike fear in your kids eyes and treat them like sh1t? Did editing cause you to beat a dog infront of a little boy? Did editing make you put in a stupid movie infornt of kids and famiyl about killing chickens?

YOu are a scum bag barb and IM goint ot write every vegan organization that you deal with to cut all ties with you.

I'm praying for you and your family, Barbara.

There is a God, you can read about Him in the Bible. He loves you, and he doesn't care if you eat meat or vegetables your whole life, or only wear organic cotton clothes. You won't go to Hell for smoking, you'll just smell like you've been there. And I promise, you won't go to Hell for eating that alligator, either. I hope your husband is enjoying his orchard and you are all enjoying your Jacuzzi. You have beautiful children and a lovely home.

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the light".

Barbara, you trying to convince us to not believe what so many thousands of us saw is just another example of your controlling behavior. Most everyones opinion of your behavior comes to the same conclusion. Are you saying that all of us are wrong and you are right? I'm sure you'd love to.

I cannot believe you didn't apologize for even just one of your bad actions. That is very telling. You are in total denial. I am very familar with editing techniques and just like many others here, know for certain there are many examples of your horrible personality that editing could never account for.

You are a self-absorbed hypocritical control freak bitch. I don't know what's wrong with your husband but obviously something is since he's put up with you for 20 years. That's just sad.

As a Californian, you insulted me. You brought out the worst of our great state. You insulted all of us. You damaged the vegan cause. I'm not a vegan and I eat meat all the time and yet I still think what you did for the vegan cause is unforgivable. I am so glad that you aren't in my school district. You are such a hypocrite. I hope they kicked your ass out. I hope no vegan organization or any other organization ever associates with you again. I hope your husbands wakes uo and gets himself and his children away from you before you waste their lives anymore with your toxic overbearing ways. You need help lady.

BARB,BARB,BARB!
Listen,please believe that I have never,ever posted anything on anything in my 30+ years of life.But the rebroadcast of Trading Spouses caught my attention like you could never imagine.First of all I dont think anyone should be trying to make you feel threatened,or use words like hate towards you,but that is just my opinion.I prefer to try to make people understand that it is clearly obvious that you deserve a little compassion.Mentally ill people are not to blame for their actions
I was not as disturbed at watching the program,as I was when I saw that you tried to defend your ways.It is not a laughing matter when it came down to the MANY people fighting in your head. When that fried alligator was on the dinner table,I know that Diego tried to help you maintain your VEGGIE MOM status by saying that you don't have to eat it,it was already too late.Veggie Barb vs. Carni Barb battle was on.I know that even though Veggie Barb wanted so much to cry her eyes out,Carni Barb made you eat that cut up,fried up reptile that would have eaten you if it had the chance.Carni Barb is to blame!!! THAT WITCH
and further more..we know that the 2 year old in your head is really behind the"he needs to listen,because Im very smart" comment,it is not your fault.We know that Grownup Barb can spell'monkeys' as for 2 year old Barb....
We all know that she REALLY needs for daddy to let her choose where to put the hot tub,and she thought that it was not a good idea for an eleven year old to think about his family when he made such an intelligent,thoughtful gesture.
We all know that Anal Barb was to blame for all that talk like...
"ZZ,you are going to die before your forty from drinking all that pop" and she made you say all that stuff about tofu fighting cancer,and real meat causing it,when you went on the porch to enjoy a cigarette,we know that you really knew better.
We know that Family Regretting Barb was to blame for the comments about"not getting lettuce wraps" and "what did you say,about an orchid?"and"Im not buying you a car!"even though you criticized Mrs. Loupe for not thinkng of the idea.
We know that even though you chastized your kids for the thought of crying,during the reveal,2 year old Barb came in and turned you into a weeping baby.We know that FRB came in and shot your kids down,by saying"oh,you have to get your merit badge first"We know you are not to blame for Fashion Police Barb Comments about Diego's gold,and his wife's leopard shirt,when you had on that sweater that I could have knitted(and I can't knit).But of all these personalities(please forgive the few I've failed to mention)Jealous Barb took the cake.We know how jealous she was to see a boy with his own mind,own ideas,who has a loving father that helped him try to cope with her'constant arrogance,ignorance,etc.
We know that Jealous B. left that note in the house to try to leave that one last hurt(by the way she did)
We know that it was the real Barb that said all of that nice stuff about the Loupe family(AFTER the show)
We are just glad to know that the Loupe family is a strong one,and that even though they were sent with all of ya'll(your head people)They are raising a normal child who tried real hard to be charming,and respectful(like his parents).
As for your kidS...they were so admirable,kind and respectful. They tolerated the fish entree with maturity,I noticed that they acted a lot like their father(good job Pop).I hope they can get ONE mom,in the future.They are not going to tell you,but you know in your heart that they envy ZZ's relationship with his parents.
Barb,you do have some people out there who realizes that you are a victim of Scitzo..umm..you know that thing that Sally Fields character in 'Sybil' had.
Do a favor for yourself,and family...seek psychiatric help before Carni Barb boils the neighbors dog,because Anal Barb feared it was going to eat 2 year old Barb ,when it got the chance,and somehow Family Regretting Barb will blame it all on your husband who had the orchid well built too close to the neighbors yard,the same well that the dog was drinking out of when Carni Barb caught him for the stew."just when you think you think you know somebody"

Anonymous:

All of you, just shut up.

I agree with you Anonymous, but I have a feeling all these postings are from the same 'guest'. You know, one post IS enough for us to get your input. Really.

"Diego is a great guy and ZZ is a spirited, sweet kid. I'll never forget his flowers, his lessons, or his hugs. Diana is a soulful and strong woman who I admire. I want only the best for all of the Loupes (and their animals)."

What a pity that Barbara could not have said this, the same thing she wrote above, about the family on the show. I just saw the show last night and was so sickened by her behavior and the negative, judgemental attitude she displayed towards the other family. So much so, that I did a search on this topic today and ended up here.

No amount of editing, as others have said, could have created the patronizing, snotty, intolerant tone of her voice as she put the other mother down for her clothes being "out of date" (not that Barbara, in that awful crinkle top, looked well dressed!). No amount of editing could have created the fact that she abused the other family's dog in a mean and heartless manner. No amount of editing could have created the awful, nasty tone of voice she used to slilence her own children.

No, Barbara--what I think you didn't like was that we SAW YOU--in spite of the editing. And you were not a nice person at all.

Capitan you're an idiot You can minuipualte all you want but her true calling was clear to everybody who watched. They didnt force her to say and act the way she did. She's a loser and so are you to try to defend her actions. You probably are really Barb lisitn under Captain.

Whats the difference if your registered are not? Nobody gives tehre real personal information, phone numbers, etc...anyways.

yeah Captain H. Shut ur trap ....we all hate Barbara and we want her to know it. See some people try really hard to see the best in every situation but with Barbara there is none. Why should try so hard to be nice and gracious to people in our lives and then let someone get away with being the opposite . There is no good without bad and we need Barbara to show us how not to conduct ourselves. SO thanks Barbara Gates whom i will think of whenever i have something bad or negative in my head and remember how she conducted herself and was disgraced in front of the whole world.

I came onto this board very much against Barbara, because I don't believe you can blame everything on the editing. Granted, they edit to make the subjects more controversial than they really are, but I still think that some of their real character is shown. I think Barbara is probably a wretched human being, but I'm also starting to feel that way about some of the people here who seemed filled with so much hate.

Eye Captain
The question should be, where are all the "registered users"
coming to her defense? Obviously none of her actions,
words or abuses are defensible.
A complete hypocritical dolt.

OK, I've calmed down. The discussion has been unlocked again. Papa said it was a good window into human behavior. So, I figured it wasn't fair for me to make such a unilteral decision. So, I'm going to put it to a vote: Vote here. (Note: this poll is open only to the CenterTao "old-timers" . . . anyone who's been here more than a couple weeks.)

Luke

Hey Luke,

I'd have to vote to lock things up if they're getting out of hand. One of the reasons I don't much use this part of the website is I get tired of people ragging on and on. Everyone wants to put their 2 cents in, which is our human nature. But I agree that if you're on an emotional mission to continually trash someone, go do it somewhere else.

Oh yeah, and I've been associated with this group for over 18 years.

i still hate her guts ......and how come no one is willing to defend this evil women . I think with all the collective ill will towards her in the world right now she must be feeling some serious bad vibes . HAHAHAHAAHAHA.....good let her suffer i say

I also found this site while researching the TS show. I am a little suprised at the vicious, hateful comments directed at Barbara. I believe we should all feel very sorry for her. As a native/resident of Louisiana I must admit that I take a lot of this beautiful state and her people for granted...but Barbara made me look again. The Cajun culture is very old, it predates the California new age lifestyle. Food is very important in this part of the country and I am sure that is why they put these two moms together. Other than the dog smacking, the thing that bothered me the most was the way Babs treated the Loupe's guests. I'm sure the guests came early (as is the custom here) to help prepare the complicated intricate dishes that are tradtionally served in Louisiana. It is not considered rude to show up very early, in fact it gives you time to visit while cooking, takes some of the pressure off of the host and leaves more time to enjoy the food and the company. Entertaining here is very different than Martha Stewart, we boil crawfish in the backyard and dump them on tables covered with newspaper. Or cook a jambalaya in a cast iron pot over an open flame. Beer from the bottle and we don't trust people who "don't suck heads". Don't worry, that isn't a bad thing...it means suck the juice from the heads of the crawfish. Yep, we are very different, and I am sorry that Barbara didn't give us a chance.

Goodness gracious me. Will you people please calm down. I think there has been enough harrassment. If you want to keep going with this barbaric behaviour do it somewhere else. Not here Barbaras put up with enough. Btw Luke my friend thinks ur hot as after seeing you on the show... she said for u to ring her

Barbara,

I have just viwed the show and I really do have some questions. This is my first time to actually make a pass word and be involved in a chat room. Point is your performance was enough to get me in here.

I do not think you are a horrible person and I guess nobody will know the truth behind how the editing made you come across, but I was more than shocked at a few things you did that completly went against all the "values" which you so forcfully express the entire episode.

I hope you understand the level of meanness that came out of you towards your daughter. She was so excited to see you when you returned and you said how shocked you were that she missed you. To me that was a large indication that in fact yes you do have some relatonship problems with your daughter. I understand that eight and eleven year olds have energy but come on you took every bit of joy out of them recieving there gifts by stealing back the control, by reminding them about your point system. Not to mention the hatfull way you spoke about your husband, and what he got, and how you would choose the location of the hot tub. Until yougot your money and you had to quickly dry your eyes. Just what so sternly you told your children not to do, or else..

I really could go on with this behavior I can not at all understand from a grown adult woman, but the point of this page is to please reflect on your self. You mentioned you don't need forgivness from anybody else, because you have forgivin yourself??? That could be a problem right there. It's NOT about you,it's who you could have hurt or made feel bad,not just in your show but in your everyday life.

I am not a genius but I can almost assure you that you will not have the control you do over your children and husband forever.

I've never been to Hawaii, Lava Rock, but I plan to soon. My husband and I turn 50 in three more years, so I figured a trip to Hawaii, our 50th state, would be fun. I like theme parties...can you tell?