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'One Who Knows Does Not Think, Speak Or Write...': Differences in the Eye of the Beholder
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We can shed a little light on mysterious sameness by considering the smell of our own ___(you fill in the blank)____ with the smell of another's ____________. We don't mind the smell of our own so much... may even 'enjoy it', but often recoil at the smell of another's ________ - "Pee-U!" In fact, there is little to no difference. Our perceptions make a mountain out of a mole hill. Why? I suspect most of this is driven by social (tribal) instinct - no different than what we see in dogs, rats and even ants. Humbling, eh?
ops:The same subjective illusion of difference kicks in when we compare people, cultures, clothes, music, politics,... you name it. Sure, we can 'feel' huge differences, but this actually - and only - amounts to a reflection - a symptom - of what is emotionally important to us. The emotional content of our observations only reflects our emotional state - needs and fears - not the 'thing' being judged. Of course, our emotional state blinds us to seeing our 'personal stake' in such matters. We think that we know we are seeing things as they truly are!
Those, for whom this make sense, at least see the the gateway, and getting to know mysterious sameness is within reach. Maybe turning back a little bit more might help?
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- CommentAuthorLuke Abbott
- CommentTimeMar 2nd 2006 edited
Gee papa, what word would you use to fill in the blank?
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Well son, I can tell you that changing your diapers when you were a baby was no problem at all for me, even as ripe as they sometimes were
. I suspect our family's 'tribal' intimacy accounts for that. Now, other kids diapers would probably be another matter, though I've not had the pleasure of that experience yet. Ah,... there is so much in life left to experience! -
- CommentAuthorLynn Cornish
- CommentTimeMar 3rd 2006 edited
I have nothing to contribute regarding smells, but some other thoughts:
An expression I like that helped me feel more part of a group was to "look for the similarities and not the differences." That one phrase changed my interpersonal relationships profoundly! I was always comparing myself to others which meant I was looking at the differences (and I always came up short). It just "feels" better to live my life seeing myself as like other people instead of "terminally unique." (My ego likes thinking I'm unique...it's false pride.)
The other phrase I like is "don't compare your insides with other people's outsides." That's useful for the times when you need some help coming up with similarities.
I know this all sounds very touchy/feely, self-help, but it feels more like
getting to know mysterious sameness...and...turning back
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Dear Lynn,
Thank you. I sure appreciate you writing this. I love what you write. This comes at a good time. I was focusing on differences with someone I know. Now concentrating on similarites (which are so many) it feels so much better and real. We are all connected with (or are) the universe...as is everything.It brings so much more peace.
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I like to think of it as we're all the same basically. My desires that are manifesting at a particular time, though coming from the same source, may bring me into conflict with another's manifesting desires. Turning back from desire helps me slow down enough to look for a middle path, to compassion and compromise.
If I don't turn away from desire, then I want what I want, and I want it now!
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Yes. It sure is about desire. I appreciate you all.
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