I use words to keep people at arm's length. They believe the more I speak to them the closer they're getting, but it's actually the opposite-I'm building a wall with my words as surely as if i used bricks-I hate small talk, casual chat, and yet fall into it constantly, with some people almost exclusively for years our conversations have not extended past this useless chatting. Some of my most peaceful times have come when i conciously avoided small talk, didnt feel the need to comment on everything. Quiet observation. I practice being a listener, to people and nature, and come away with both a greater understanding of them and myself...