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Just a congratulations in advance for your big time tv debut. Next thing we know, you'll be guest starring on 'The Simpsons' and endorsing Nikes!
Hope it went well, hope the response is positive.
Would like to read more about your Hollywood adventures, behind the scenes gossip and all that good stuff, and especially what kind of feedback you get-reading the forums on this show, it has quite an enthusiastic following (though that cajun kid & vegan mom are hard acts to follow)-good luck. -
- CommentAuthorLuke Abbott
- CommentTimeDec 6th 2004 edited
Endorsing Nike's!
I thought of that too!Well, it could go either way . . . don't think we'll come off as horrible people because we're pretty easy-going and don't have an "issue" with people who don't live like us or understand us (unlike some people who have been on the show before . . . you know who I'm talking about). I'm sure people will come away thinking we're more unusual than we really are . . . but than again, we ARE a bit unusual!
Either way, though, so far it has been a wonderful experience, and I fully expect a sizable fraction of the population not to understand us (not that I can blame them!), so I don't really care. (Although that's an easy thing to say...)
Luke
Oh, if you want to read more about how and why we got into the show, you can go to http://www.playingbyear.com and click on the appropriate link.
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If the TV editors are able to convey in the TV show what an enjoyable adventure we all had, this show should be a lot of fun to watch. We'll see....
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People lie for one reason, to advance their own self interest. Most recently, in the lies propagated about us, the motive was profit. It's educational, sobering and humbling to see the underside of humanity so up close and personal.
People who tell lies need to make a story out of reality. To accomplish this they take dramatic license with the facts to make the lie work. Meaning is conveyed by words. By rearranging the words someone says, you can make them appear to say what ever you want.
Here are a few examples:
* Liars who have recorded hours of your personal conversations and interviews can use dialogue out of context with the situation that it's purporting to address. For example, if on one occasion I spoke about space ships, a liar could take that comment out of context and connect it with meditation and Taoism. More insidious would be taking numerous unrelated sound bytes and splicing them together to have you appear to say statements which are the exact opposite of what you said. For me personally, this would be especially scurrilous in matters of Yoga and how I've taught it for decades. People have enough difficulty with self competition and self judgement as it is.
* Another thing liars can do is omit facts or insert sound clips to paint the false picture they need to carry out their 'story'. Many falsehoods have been made about our family recently by others to maximize their profit. For the record:
(1) We actually have about 6+ TVs (and 5 computers) and loads of coffee from Costco.
(2) I've often said, "I'd sooner die than lose my integrity". I've never said "I'd sooner die...." in any other context.It is interesting how we could have had a such great time with an experience and then in a hour have it turn completely opposite. Still, that's reality's reality... the reality of our species, our culture, our 21st century rush to win at all cost... Steroids anyone?
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Enjoyed the show, though I figured it'd been edited for dramatic effect (all of you coming up empty when trying to explain taoism...), and to play up your 'strangeness' (much of which i share with you..) every show needs a 'character', and Carls' it, i guess. They want you to come off as some control freak, yet you said time and again you actually give the boys more freedom than most parents.
I like Carl's eyes-lots of compassion and sincerity in them.
I take baths, too (why stand when you can sit?), and I havent had a bed since 1990 (currently sleep on an air mattress thats leaking, so by morning, I'm on the floor. My kid also sleeps with me (his choice), and many of my friends have issue with that (which i predict will be a main concern of viwers here-the boys having no room, no privacy-bah.)
I wanted to slap that Tennesee daughter, calling your mom mean and saying she sucks. She looks like a real sweet lady, and I'd love to sit and sip coffee with her (thank god you have coffee, though!). The Tennesee mom reminds me of some late aunts I had, lot of fun, outspoken, but sometimes tiring.
'He's flexible just not with the boys'-line of the show...the boys will find themselves when they're ready-they're lucky to have this opportunity to be with people they love. I envy that, not many have it.
I have deeper respect for you all than before the show, and nothing that happens in part 2 will change that...or perhaps you're just brain washing me, Carl...LOL. Peace Robert -
Although I never thought I would want to watch Trading Spouses, I caught your episode after listening to The Ronn Owens show on KGO a few weeks ago and Luke called in saying your family would be on soon. I haven't been so entertained in some time. I loved the contrast between your family and Vicky's, and as someone living close to Santa Cruz, loved seeing you guys doing yoga at a beach I frequent often.
That was fun. I can't wait to see next weeks episode!
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Buddy1 said:
Enjoyed the show, though I figured it'd been edited for dramatic effect (all of you coming up empty when trying to explain taoism...), and to play up your 'strangeness' (much of which i share with you..) every show needs a 'character', and Carls' it, i guess. They want you to come off as some control freak, yet you said time and again you actually give the boys more freedom than most parents.
Actually I think the "what is Taoism" scenes were just perfect! I could not have edited it better. After all, the way that can be spoken of, is not the constant way..
The "control freak" deal is very curious I find. As I said, "I never order, nor be ordered". What they didn't include was my following statement "I only invite participation... etc." That was the case when Vickie was here. I invited her to do this or that, and she did what she wanted, and declined what she didn't.
Vickie (and my mother for that matter) feel I 'brain wash' the kids. I suspect they feel this because my boys aren't rebellious as are many teenagers in this culture. I still remember my battles with my mother. That was normal
So I assume that in their intuitive eyes this peaceful family relationship I have with my two teenage sons must somehow be an 'abnormal' situations that could only occur if I 'brain washed' these boys into being the gentle, respectful, hardworking, honest, reliable, sincere, and cooperative young men that they are. Oh my Lord, where did I go wrong? I see the light now. The boys should leave home and perhaps travel the world for 15 years like I did, or maybe just scatter off to various parts of this country. And, heck, while we're at it, I should leave here, which by the way is next door to my 92 year old mother, divorce my wife and return to rural Thailand where the folks are likewise 'brain washed'. Ah, then the boys would be free of ?brain washing? and truly independent.
Sorry, I just can't resist being sarcastic. It's all so ironic.
... I've got to go eat something. -
Since you all sleep in the same room, how exactly are your kids dealing with their "teenage urges."
By the way, you should thank me for being so polite, because I do have a feeling you are about to be swarmed.
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I think it is great that your family did the tv show. It's people like you that make life interesting!
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I was very surprised at the reaction the Abbott men had to Vicky's suggestion of R&B for the party. Personally, I like rice and beans
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- CommentAuthorWonderwoman
- CommentTimeDec 8th 2004 edited
I found your family very refreshing. I enjoyed the episode very much and look forward to seeing next week's. I also enjoyed the family folk music and the various interesting instruments. Thank you for sharing your wonderful family life.
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Sonny Chiba:
Since you all sleep in the same room, how exactly are your kids dealing with their "teenage urges."
good question!
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- CommentAuthorMs. Frizzle
- CommentTimeDec 8th 2004 edited
Sonny Chiba:
Since you all sleep in the same room, how exactly are your kids dealing with their "teenage urges."
good question!
A good question? Really? I found it to be rather rude, and none of anyones business.
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A good question? Really? I found it to be rather rude, and none of anyones business.
You tell em, Ms Frizzle. Moreover, you'd think a little imagination should answer their questions. Still, a person must be able to ponder things for themselves a little to even see
the obvious. And we call ourselves Homo Sapiens sapiens... really. I wonder how humanity has solved this sexual 'problem' over the hundreds of millennia before we became wealthy enough as a society to all have our own little private 'sex' room. Our culture (and humanity in general I suppose) has such sexual hangups it's both pathetic and hilarious. 
We're so afraid to just be. -
its a shame so many think teenagers have to be a certain way because thats how they're portrayed on tv and in the media. and teens also follow these cliches and stereptypes themselves, because they're not taught or allowed to think and grow on their own...
My favorite scene in the entire show was Luke sitting with his head resting against Carl. an amazing display of unselfconcious love and trust. How many 18 yo boys would do that, especially in front of a camera? -
...the trading spaces forums, and what a bunch of rude humorless jerks. Dont let them get to you guys, they're not worth responding to. Griping about Kyle's website donations, and spelling! Makes me WANT to donate money! Calling ya'll hippies, saying the kids are 'dragged barefoot to the street corner', ignorant comments about yuor singing and bluegrass (is that something they smoke?"(har dee har)and did they miss the whole point of the show, and the whole point of your site here...?
Anyway, dont let this response make you chnage anything about your site or your life. Some people just have to gripe about everything. -
- CommentAuthorMs. Frizzle
- CommentTimeDec 8th 2004 edited
Buddy1:
...the trading spaces forums, and what a bunch of rude humorless jerks. Dont let them get to you guys, they're not worth responding to. Griping about Kyle's website donations, and spelling! Makes me WANT to donate money! Calling ya'll hippies, saying the kids are 'dragged barefoot to the street corner', ignorant comments about yuor singing and bluegrass (is that something they smoke?"(har dee har)and did they miss the whole point of the show, and the whole point of your site here...?
Anyway, dont let this response make you chnage anything about your site or your life. Some people just have to gripe about everything.I agree!! I decided not to go back there anymore, because I was getting offended and taking it all personally, when it's not even my family they are talking about.
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'cause I know how rude I can get...anyway, i just ordered the 2 family cd's and I'm excited-I hope the next episode shows them playing more music-of course some dont think they can sing: they're so 'brainwashed' by the music companies and their over produced thin voiced divas, they wouldnt know real singing if it bit them on the ear!
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- CommentAuthorLuke Abbott
- CommentTimeDec 8th 2004 edited
LOL! Yes, talk about brainwashing . . . I think the whole society has brainwashed itself about . . . well, everything! But that's the thing . . . if you've been properly brainwashed, you don't know you've been brainwashed.
Oh, and in case you didn't know, he's talking about this: http://www.playingbyear.com/AbbottFamilyBand/Recordings.aspx *cough* Shameless self-promotion *cough*
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- CommentAuthoramberfirestone
- CommentTimeDec 8th 2004 edited
Very well stated in reference to society being brainwashed. When trying to "explain" an alternative lifestyle, many people automatically will dismiss it as "weird" or "abnormal." Of course, they are comparing this new information to the "norm."
My partner (David) and I have done extensive research relating to sociology. Our primary interest is in the unequal distribution of goods (i.e. food, shelter, etc...) throughout the whole world. We are in dire need of a "new" plan! Trust me, it is people such as yourself and your brother, who have the capacity to understand the needs of our future! Technology has "evolved" to amazing lengths. However, humanity has in turn, "de-evolved." Which has caused "society" as a whole to forget how to take care of ourselves.
The masses need to wake up and begin to work together in order to save our lives, our environment, and our purpose. There will always be those who choose to keep to their path of self-destruction. Those of us who are working for our future... and the betterment of society, are not going to be respected or understood until the day that those people lose all of their superficial comforts. I envision a sea of confusion.I wish you, and your family continued peace and growth.
Take care! -
thanx to four more years of Bush, we'll be losing more of our superficial comforts than we'd like, very soon. But can't blame him entirely. We give away more freedoms than they ever take...
hey, a thought just occurred to me-where's Mama in all this (Leslie, is that her name? my poor memory...) havent heard from her-does she not get on the computer, or just not get involved in debates and such? Be fun to hear her viewpoint on things...
Was listening to June Carter Cash today, reminded me of her...tell her I think she's a lovely, talented woman with a terrific family. (tell your mama that, not June Carter Cash, who unfortunately is no longer with us...)
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my wish is your command-i see Mama posted on here-good to see- 'tao cow'-cool name. Afraid soembody'd start another conspiracy theory that 'Carl wouldnt let her post' or some such...
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I was watching the Trading Spouses and I was wondering if you really were going to buy a mattress? I noticed that there was a fluctuation in the tone of the voice and assumed it was probably spliced in. Its a shame that fox did this.
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Hi Luke,I think it is great (after seeing the show) how much your doing with the web! I was really worried for you guys after watching the show, but see that your doing really great. How is driving a car? Do you like having one now?
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Luke,
Put more up on your web page too! -
Luke Abbott:
Endorsing Nike's!
I thought of that too!Well, it could go either way . . . don't think we'll come off as horrible people because we're pretty easy-going and don't have an "issue" with people who don't live like us or understand us (unlike some people who have been on the show before . . . you know who I'm talking about). I'm sure people will come away thinking we're more unusual than we really are . . . but than again, we ARE a bit unusual!
Either way, though, so far it has been a wonderful experience, and I fully expect a sizable fraction of the population not to understand us (not that I can blame them!), so I don't really care. (Although that's an easy thing to say...)
Luke
Oh, if you want to read more about how and why we got into the show, you can go to http://www.playingbyear.com and click on the appropriate link.
Nike Air Abbotts....the only Shoe THIS family will wear...
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Only 2 episodes...oh well, thats as long as most British sitcoms run...
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I have watched "Trading Spouses" in the past but last night's show had an amazing impact on me. While I don't like to sucumb to the sentimentality of some reality television episodes, I felt extreme sadness when Carl spoke about his brother. Carl, I can truly understand how the pain you felt over this loss has impacted yoru life. Whether you are a controlling person or not (I only saw last night's episode and you seem fine to me) you ultimately will not be able to "control" your children, or your wife for that matter. People are "free agents" and while a parent may wish to control their children and protect them forever, that just isn't healthy. Your sons will explore the world their own way, which may very likely not be your way! I have two sons who are "out of the nest". As much as I hoped to protect them from living the life that I lived in the early seventies, they are on their own making their own mistakes and experiencing their own successes. I wish the best for your sons as well!
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Your reaction reveals your own feelings about your own life that you project onto the Abbotts. You were manipulated by FOX to think Carl was saying/reacting a certain way. It was a carefully edited scene. Think about the odd pauses, the clipped nature of Carl's expressions, the words that "seemed" to come from him as he turned his head away (they were added in when he was silent) vs the long, unclipped versions of Vicky as she eloquently pursued her agenda... Surely, you can imagine/see what was done?
I won't try to guess online about what Carl actually said in that serious conversation with the globe in hand, but I really hope he posts it later. As someone who knows this family, I can guess the real content and it will bare little resemblance to FOX's version.
I just want to say: There is no oppression. Investigate further, check out Kyle's website. He's hilarious. Do you realize Luke skillfully manages these websites? These are skilled, able, involved people.
_There_are_no_clipped_wings!!!_
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Lilah, It feels so reviving to have such heart felt support. Being the loner I am, I've never experienced such open community support from so many kind folks. It brings tears to my eye frankly. Now about the GLOBE:
I don't go anywhere where my children don't have an OPTION to go. If they have the option, they can take it or leave it. A stranger visited us recently and just couldn't understand nor accept that. Finally, the stranger asked if it wasn't something in my past that made me 'this way'. Bingo, of course, and I got down the globe which tracks the 15 years of hitching and working around the world - up and down, around and around numerous times.
As I traced my journey I flashed back to the heavy tragedy - Vietnam, Calcutta, Ethiopia, ... to name a few places and also the beautiful simply lives of the peasant people I lived and worked among - jungle people of Borneo, hill peoples of Laos.... All this during my maturing years - 20 to 35. Of course it change my whole world view. And there was no way the stranger, nor many Americans, could comprehend this experience. But, my intensity of moment tracing the globe settled her down and she dropped the issue.
Now if one were to only see part of that tracing of my life on the Globe, one could fabricate all sorts of fanciful 'realities' to fit a fictional storyline. Seeing only part of the reality is simply gossip, eh?
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I'd be interested to read about as much of Carls journey as he's willing to share-his whole life, in fact-it'd be fascinating and I hope he's writing things down as he goes...then sell it to hollywood and see what kind of movie they make of it-Sean Connery as Carl 'Santa Cruz' Jones, world explorer, lover, action hero!
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Of course I am projecting my stuff on Carl. Don't we all project from our own experience? Even your response to me was a projection of your own issues, right? I reacted to Carl because, like Carl, I lost a loved one at a young age. I was away at college when my mother died. So when Carl expressed that he wasn't there when his brother died I could totally relate to that loss. Now Lilah, my "projection" doesn't diminish the fact that young adults need to be free to make choices and develop beyond the influence of their parents. Sometimes that can be hard if you are still sleeping in their bedroom. Carl, if you are reading this please don't misunderstand. I think your sweetness and love for your sons came out fully in the show. What also came out (whether edited or not) is that you are still suffering from what happened to you in your youth.
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Debra128:
What also came out (whether edited or not) is that you are still suffering from what happened to you in your youth.
Dear Debra128
No misunderstanding here and I appreciate your sincerity. I'm afraid you're still being hoodwinked by a fantasy version of our (my) reality. Consider the possibility that in being hoodwinked, you don't realized your being hoodwinked. You're a thoughtful person so I don't think I'm wasting my breath saying that. For more on hoodwinking, self and otherwise, check out the essays on life meaning
Frankly, I suffer from a deepening awareness of the human condition. As a species, we're in way over our heads. This sense of suffering only increase as I age and become more aware of this 'condition'. This awesome, ie., beyond suffering, awareness is counterbalanced by an increasing maturity which comes with age. I think many folks getting beyond the age where hair turns white will identify with what I'm saying to one extent or another.
In my youth, suffering came from lacking a sense of purpose and connection. Eventually, I recall being out in the middle of the Sahara (across which I hitch hiked), hundreds of miles from any living thing (larger than a fly) thinking that if there was a nuclear war, and if I survived, I be thrust into real purpose. Now, don't misunderstand, I didn't want a nuclear war! Those feelings arose from a personal lack of life meaning. By that time I'd done 'everything' I could imagine I wanted to do, I'd been 'everywhere' I wanted to go, I'd seen everything I wanted to see. You understand,... I had complete utterly total freedom, not bound by any fear to speak of, not pulled by any desire to speak of. I was perplexed; what's the point of life? I hitch hiked through one culture to the next, and when I ran out of money, settled down and worked until I had money to wander on. In hindsight, I was searching for 'home'.
That was a turning point. I soon came to sense that compassion was the only quality of existence truly worthwhile, and realized I had practically none, which bummed me out still deeper. I'm blessed by my deepening compassion, even as it brings me a deepening sense of sorrow.
Anyone who would use my brother's death as the source of my sorrow in order to augment their gossip must be tormented somewhat, i.e., I sense that a person's inner torment results in abusive action. In any case, exploiting my brother's death to support the lie that I'm 'brain washing' my sons, and can't let go, is a no brain easy way to avoid the truth.
Debra128:
doesn't diminish the fact that young adults need to be free to make choices and develop beyond the influence of their parents
I've comment enough on this. If you've read what I've said and still can't 'think outside that be all you can be box' of our contemporary American world view, then your obviously very content with this parochial view (no put down intended, though it probably sounds like it
). I'm very fond of Jesus's view of how "it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven". This consequence of 'riches' applies to us as a whole culture now. It's just naturally so,... sigh.... -
- CommentAuthorRon Cotnam
- CommentTimeDec 15th 2004 edited
Carl:
Frankly, I suffer from a deepening awareness of the human condition. As a species, we're in way over our heads. This sense of suffering only increase as I age and become more aware of this 'condition'.
I wouldn't burden myself so heavily. It's all a part of the human drama, a production of epic proportions. Every thing will be fine. Consciousness will always survive. The universe could not exist with out it.
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So I found myself browsing a "reality TV" fan site tonight (no, I don't know why) and was amused by someone's comment that Carl "really needs to learn how to get with modern times," which comment appeared right above the signature in which the poster listed the 15 reality shows they are "currently watching" and nine more they "can't wait for".
Get with it, Carl! Think of all the time you're wasting playing music when you could be watching more "reality" shows! (I would use an eye-rolling smiley here, but they kinda creep me out.)
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- CommentAuthorBurn Factor
- CommentTimeDec 16th 2004 edited
I ought to mention here that I kinda sorta know how the Abbotts feel, that they're misrepresented and the whole world feels sorry for them. If you're interested in how I know this, http://www.mostvaluablenetwork.com/index.php?p=79 head there.
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You're deaf? 'I"LL TYPE LOUDER FROM NOW ON, OK?!!"
oh man, i am soo going to hell for that (among other things)... -
- CommentAuthorBurn Factor
- CommentTimeDec 16th 2004 edited
ohhh, burrrrnnn...
i guess that's why my username is the Burn Factor
Yes, I am deaf.
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hey, on the internet, we're all equal. Too damn many people talkin anyway, you're really not missing much-glad you have a sense of humor. i dont treat anyone special because of any disablity OR ability. I practice a truly 'all men are created equal' lifestyle, and that makes alot of people uncomfortable.
btw, we had a deaf kid at work-he got out, broke into a store late one night-he was the only one who didnt hear the alarms blaring-walked right out into a mess of cops...not the brightest dude...
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Dear Carl:
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond in such detail. It has been a hectic week for me (I'm a college prof grading ALOT of papers) but this weekend I am going to settle in (in a beautiful upstate New York snowstorm) and read the essays. I appreciated the little glimpse into your family and am grateful that you are willing to share more of yourself. Like you, I am disheartened by the human condition. And I too am disheartened by the materialism that our society defines as "success"! Thanks again for taking the time to write!
Regards,
Debbie
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